She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
