if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Vodka?
Forever.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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