Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
