She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
