she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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