She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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