1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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