i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
MIDGETS
????
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
