she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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