I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
