between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
