I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
