Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
