I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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