I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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