You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
