So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
