I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
