I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
