And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
