Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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