Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
