too bad you live with your parents still
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
