Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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