i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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