It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
