I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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