Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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