I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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