i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
MIDGETS
????
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
