i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
