you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
