So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
