you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
