Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
