Dual....:-)
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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