we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
