the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
