Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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