what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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