...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
