After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
