Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
