you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
