I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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