I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
