I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
