and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
