I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
