i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
